Ali Bee's Bake Shop: A Texas St. Patty's Day

So....I didn't wear green yesterday. I didn't drink green beer. I didn't go out to an Irish pub to celebrate. I stayed home with my baby girl and hubs. Which I think is better than dressing up like a leprechaun and pub crawling till I puke. (Not that I'm judging). We had ourselves a Texas St. Patty's Day. I decided to make the greatest "green food" of all time! (In Texas anyway...)

Indeed my friends....Indeed. GUACAMOLE!!

Now my mom and I have an epic battle about guacamole (ok maybe epic is a little extreme). She thinks hers is better than mine. I disagree, naturally. There have been talks of an GUAC-OFF. She insists that it be a blind tasting tho. She thinks some people (ahem-David) might be swayed to vote out of loyalty. I mean yeah I guess that seems fair...to an outsider. I think she's just scared she will lose....chicken...

Guacamole (This makes a lotta Guac)

8 Large Haas avocados
1 Roma tomato
1 Serrano pepper
1 shallot
2 limes
3 cloves garlic
1/3 c chopped cilantro
salt and pepper

Ok here's a note about picking avocados: They shouldn't be hard but they shouldn't be squishy. They should just give a little under the pressure of your fingers. If you can punch a hole in it then it's too ripe. Put it down. Another option is to look at the top of the fruit where the stem was attached. If you can take that "nub" or whatever it is off the top easily and you see that beautiful green your probably good to go. If it falls out and you see black or brown, walk away my friend. It's too ripe. If you have to really pick at it to get it loose than the avocado needs more time. It isn't ready for guacin'.

Ok...lets move on.

Cut your avocados in half and remove the pits. *Trick: if you have a sharp knife, CAREFULLY tap the knife on the pit so it gets stuck in there. Then twist. The pit should pop right out. Again if your avocados aren't ripe your going to have a hard time with this* Then scoop put the avocado with a spoon into a large bowl

Excellent. If you like a very smooth and consistent guacamole then by all means go ahead and start mashing with a fork or the back of a spoon. I, however, enjoy some chunks of avocado in my guac so I wait till the end and leave it as is for now.
Now chop up your ingredients. Except the garlic. If you have a garlic press then mince it. If you don't well then yeah...chop it up. You obviously don't chop up the limes. Don't do that. That would be gross.

Chop up the shallot (and garlic if you don't have a press) to a fine texture. There's nothing like a mouthful of onion on your chip (yuck).

Add it all to the bowl. Squeeze the limes into the bowl. Salt and Pepper like crazy. Taste it to make sure you get it where you want it. There is no exact science to seasoning with salt and pepper folks. It's all a matter of preference.

Stir and mash your little heart out.

mmmmmm.....

HOLY GREEN GOODNESS BATMAN! It's GUACAMOLE!!

Of course it's taste tested by the family

I think she likes it

honestly, that expression....

So there you go. A kid tested guide to guac. Feel free to alter. If you like it limey then add more lime. Kind of the same rules apply here that applied to the stirfry post.

Ok I know I said I didn't have any green beer. But that doesn't mean I didnt do SOMETHING on the cheesy side of St. Patrick's Day. Of course it wasn't my own doing...